Here is a guide to help you introduce and try anal sex with your lover.

How to Have Anal Sex with Your Partner

If you're a man, this involves inserting your penis into your partner's butt. If you're a woman, you'll be anally penetrating your partner with a strap-on dildo. Why would you want to do this? Your anus is full of sensitive nerve endings that feel great when stimulated by a finger, toy, tongue, or penis. Anal intercourse can also stimulate men's prostates and indirectly stimulate women's G-spots. What's not to like about that!

Lets Get Started:

1. Communicate. If your partner has never experimented with anal sex, you need to discuss the idea beforehand. The first step is to let your partner know you're interested. Tell them it is a desired fantasy, read or watch some erotica depicting anal sex, or go sex toy shopping together. Make sure you are in agreement about this--you really don't want to surprise your partner!

2. Forget the myths. Most people have some reservations about anal sex, whether it’s stress about cleanliness or concerns about sexual orientation. Most of these anxieties can be alleviated with a little information. For example, relieving your bowels beforehand or bathing can help with worries about bowel movements and cleanliness. As for orientation, you might be surprised to find that recent studies indicate that almost one in three heterosexual couples have tried anal sex.

3. Get the necessary goods. Once you've agreed to this activity, you'll want an good supply of a thicker lubricant. If you're a woman doing the penetrating, choose a strap-on dildo and harness combination so you can have some hands-free fun. (You can also find a dildo that vibrates so your clit gets its own action.) If this is your first time performing anal penetration, you might feel a bit silly in the harness, but try to get into the role reversal--it can be a real turn on.

4. Get into position. When you’re ready to move into anal penetration, have your partner bend over the bed with his or her legs spread slightly, with you standing behind. This position is comfortable for both of you and minimizes the moving-target effect of a bouncy bed! Apply an abundant amount of lube to your finger, toy, and his or her anus.

5. Start with fingers. Use your finger to gently massage the anus and perineum. Slip a finger into the rectum to help it relax. Have your partner push out (as if trying to have a bowel movement) as you enter, which will relax the anal sphincter enough for you to insert your finger.

6. Time for penetration. Once you’ve gotten a finger in, pull it out and give your well-lubed penis or dildo a turn. Grasp it near the top and guide the tip into the rectum. Have your partner push out again as you push in from behind. Push very gently, just enough to pass the sphincter. Then stop and let your partner get used to the sensation. If you're using a dildo with a vibrator, turn the vibrator on so you can both feel the vibrations.

7. Ready for motion. When your partner's ready, ask whether he or she’d prefer that you control the thrusting motion. Your partner may be more comfortable easing back onto your penis or dildo at first. Make sure your partner lets you know what angle and depth of penetration feels good, as well as the speed and pacing. Don’t withdraw completely (unless your partner requests it), as getting past the anal sphincter is probably the most challenging part for beginners.

8. A note to the ladies with strap-ons: Even though the dildo is attached to your body, you can't feel it, so in the beginning it might help to put one hand around the base of the penis and guide your toy in and out for awhile until you get comfortable with the rhythm.

9. Reapply lube. Should you find you need more lube (and you can never have enough during anal play!), withdraw your dildo about two-thirds of the way, apply fresh lube to the shaft, and re-insert.

10. Add other stimulation. As your partner gets increasingly turned on by the anal penetration, invite him to play with his penis or her to play with her clitoris. Your partner may find that your movements create pleasant friction between his or her genitals and the bed, or he or she may want to back up a bit and masturbate.

11. Come. When your partner's ready to come, keep up your thrusting unless you're asked to stop. Don’t stop until your partner's finished coming, and check in soon after as he or she may want you to remove the penis or dildo quickly.

Tips:

1. Experiment with different positions. Instead of the rear entry position, try the missionary position, with your partner's legs pointed toward the ceiling. These positions, as well as the side-by-side position are great beginner’s anal sex positions, because it’s easier to fully relax the anus.
2. If it hurts, you're doing something wrong. Never proceed if your partner is in pain. If you focus on relaxing your anus, you shouldn't feel pain.
3. You can explore anal sex in the shower, which helps you stay slippery (use a silicone-based lube so it won't wash away), and alleviates any fear of uncleanliness.
4. If you have trouble at first, consider masturbating with some anal toys: butt plugs, anal kits, and anal beads, can all be a nice introduction to anal play.

Don’t Forget the Necessities:

• Lubricant, especially a thicker brand like Doc's Anal Lube or Desentizing Anal Lube for beginners.
• Take a Bath or Shower first for cleanliness.
• Have a Towel ready for clean up.
• A dildo with a flared base or butt plug if you're cautious about inserting your penis.
• A strap-on harness and dildo if you are a woman. We recommend one with dual penetration, to please yourself also.
• A Book & Video Kit (optional, but a good resource).

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